"I am you there's a blog"

Well played all around. I walked in, sleeveless, and Pat was standing right in the door and there was a video camera. "I am you, there's a blog." It was great. And Pat, true to form, took it very well - laughed and read the blog and thought that it was hilarious, but also managed to slip in something about it being highly produced and clearly took way too much time. I can't decide if this second part is true, but either way it was the most fun I have ever had making a Halloween costume. (look at the serious face dave has on in this video) Sidenote: apologies to everyone at that party, due to some extenuating circumstances I am unable to remember anything from about 3 minutes after this video ends until I woke up on a couch in a completely different set of clothes around 7am the next day. I heard I had fun, which is really all that matters. So thanks to everyone who was as entertained as I was, we can drop the whole secret thing now, well played.

(Trying to make the Pat face, but instead just giving away that I was already completely unconcious)

Pats Dress

Firstly, and on a somber note I ask you all to say a quick prayer for friend of mine, it would mean alot to me. - Thank you.

I am fairly amazed at the fact that when you click on Pat's statistics, that many people have been able to enjoy my halloween costume, even my older sister Merrill is having fun with this. But nothing is really going to be as incredible as what I found today. To say I am pleased, would be to look at my pants tomorrow night and only think; wow I wonder if he knows those look a bit snug.

I'll post the first photo: try to envision this whole costume coming together like Iron Man's, minus all the money and science.


I need to be upfront with all of you, I am thinking about tossing the fucking red shirt and going sleeveless. Yes, it will be fucking cold - - but shit that would be hilarious. Now if you have read this far you either caught or you didn't catch why tonight was fucking amazing for me....
Hint: It's not the Jack Daniel's beater, you knew I had that shit, obama please.



Its this little CSI: Brookline creation i call photoshop - which i have used to highlight something I, until today, did not believe was within the genetic make-up of any man; he matched his sweater vest to his socks. in plaid. But go back up and take a closer look at the top of this digitally remastered photograph. Right below the neckline you can see why (and this was completely unintentional i just noticed it afterward) this little jpeg file is called

C:\Users\BlakemoreFoster\Desktop\halloween\patsdress

Tomorrow will be a big day, and I invite everyone over early afternoon to have a beer and give out some candy, if they choose (i think i'm leaving work at like 3 so...) but I am still open to ideas on how to give away the farm. Ideas welcome. Keep it secret, keep it safe. Pray.

1 Day until Halloween

Not putting up a picture of hot chicks in any blog is simply unacceptable. It's like making a movie, and not showing titties. Why on earth would any director in the entire world not show boobs in the movie -- you know he's getting offers from hundreds of women begging to do any topless scene they can just to make the movie why the fuck do you say no thanks to that? That is every single guys' first question about any movie they are deciding upon watching or not watching. If the answer is yes, you are sticking around to see that fucking titty scene. Fact.

----------> a few whiskey nips that i hide in my cube for "rough days" later....

As the coked up drug dealer in blow said "fuck me running, good good." That little orange ticker is almost at 100. That is just amazing.

So i am giving a little preview of my plans for tonight; The Jack Daniels wife beater. I don't know where it is, he may even be wearing it now because he is equally as attached to that thing as he is to those red and black fuck me pumps. Also, I kind of like Keeler's idea of printing out the entire blog and putting it up somehow so that I introduce myself, and Pat gets to see the whole experiment like pinned to the walls or something. With video of his face. That way he

a.) won't be staring at a tiny little screen when he finds out.
b.) won't be in close quarters to me if he doesn't find this funny.
c.) if he does lose it, there will be a youtube video of me dropkicking the shit out of him and then sprinting for the door like i stole something, in all of his clothing.

So in retrospect I think the poll question should just be: will pat find this funny? feel free to comment.

Throwback Baseball Hats

I'll be honest, I am a little tired; had a long day; and didn't think I was gonna get anything tonight. But then I come online and I see that 30 people are now watching this thing happen, and i motivated. Besides, Pat is currently downstairs covered in Crayola magic markers making what looks like a 6th grade poster project for science class. It is not. Its a poster to be sure, but its a picture of the front of a colt 45 40 ounce bottle. Complete with an inner structure welded out of coat hangers into the shape of a bottle Pat Lizotte is going as Joe 40.

Do i think he chose that name to make people give him the 'i don't get it, your joke was too nuanced' look. absolutely.

but i am sort of fine with that I mean i am essentially dressing in a patsuit -- but there is an entire blog attached to it -- I mean i can't really call him nuanced, half of my costume is an electronic joke between me and 30 people -- and this is all very much throwback baseball hats. (eddie izzard)

So Pat loves buying the throwback baseball hats from MLB.com or Lidz.com or something. Apparently the just straight up team hat doesn't jive with that half hipster thing he kind of does, but a throwback hat seals the deal; that and liking girl talk. he loves girl talk.

And nothing says it quite like a 1953 St. Louis Browns hat.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- S everal beers later
Pat bought guitar hero with the wireless drumset the other day. So between arts and crafts periods he loves this fucking game. Its fun, but not so fun that i wouldn't notice somebody slipping into the adjacent bedroom (my room) and stealing my bright red Johnny is my Homeboy t-shirt. Bam!bam! - keep it secret keep it safe.

(also quick poll is gonna go up, because i need a way to tell Pat this whole thing. Do i show him before we go out? or do i wear all his shit and just tell him when we go out)

Yahtzee

1.) Yahtzee is the trademarked name of a popular dice game made by Milton Bradley (now owned by Hasbro). The object of the game is to score the most points by rolling five dice to make certain combinations. This is true, but it is also the only appropriate response when you sneak into Pat Lizotte's room looking for Halloween pants and come across these fucking gems.



It's like a goldmine in there, I open his closet and it's like Christmas morning when i was 7. We aren't even to the best part, I am grabbing the pants and I check the tag and once again he goes and completely redeems himself;




Brooks Brothers 33W 32L. Really? Not just that they're from Brooks Brothers, but that I get to walk around all of Halloween wearing 33W pants, i tried them on for everyone's safety. Now we are going to introduce our second word of the blog: snug. If there is any amount of exertion from dance or drunken merriment on Friday I do have a concern that we might see some tearing from either side because its fucking snug front and back. Not alot of breathing room.

So we've got something coming together, it's looking solid but I think after NYC tomorrow we are going to need to step up the item count. I want sunglasses, socks, shirts, scarfs (you know he has some somewhere and you know they match that sweater vest) hats, the whole 9 and there are only a couple days left. And I am going to tell you right now, the fucking holy grail will be if i can get his red and black shoes. He has yet to take them off since he bought them a week ago, he sleeps in them, and they are so rare i couldn't find anything but a black and white version on the internet. (below) and i am fucking good at google, i also make the best jokes at work. (see i'm getting into character)...

And to be very clear; Pat is one of my closest friends and I can only do this because we have been through some shit, so remember keep it secret, keep it safe.

The Versatile Pat Lizotte

And in case there was any worries that I didn't have enough material for this experiment, I present to you the many wonderful and versatile looks that Pat Lizotte can throw at you on a given day. This kid is a fucking chameleon, and he should have some kind of award in his honor. Never has middle school chaperone met wife beating jack Daniel's and morphed into the hip underground scene, to come out a scientist. Enjoy.

Day 1: Becoming Pat - The Sweater Vest

5 Days Until Halloween:

Here is the idea - Pat told me he was getting a level 3 bio-hazard suit from his work (think Outbreak) that I could wear for Halloween. Today he bailed on the idea and told me "you should have a back-up" with that smug half grin and all knowing tone he tends to adopt when speaking to non-scientists.

So here is my backup: I am building a Pat Lizotte suit. Similar to how people build fat suits, or mega-man suits, or what have you, I am going to steal one item of clothing per day from Pat's room until Halloween on Friday night. I'll post a picture of the suit each day as I find another gem to add to the outfit, but essentially I want to build a suit that is every inch of the argyle wearing hipster we all know and like in unequal amounts.

So for my first choice, i selected perhaps the most masculine thing he owns; the J Crew Argyle Sweater Vest. Now before anyone goes looking for tire irons and brokeback sequals, remember that every one of your great grandfathers probably owned one and you still exist, so there is hope. Ignore the fact that they also probably fought prohibition, world wars, and they are just like Pat; never wrong.

Of course this is all in good fun, and Pat is a great kid, there are just three rules to this whole experiment. 1. Do not tell Pat 2. Do not tell anyone who would tell Pat 3. Remember its a joke.